[Previous entry: "Staccato"] [Next entry: "Thousand"]

07/19/2004: "Fear"

"When we are children we are afraid, but we are not ashamed." I wrote that down last night, and as far as it goes, it sounsds okay. Before we learn to put up a front, we express our reactions and emotions nakedly and unselfconsciously. We haven't learned; we are afraid of the trivial and bold in the face of real dangers. And, as we learn what is really to be feared and what is not, we become embarrassed by the fact that we have shown, publicly, our fears. And we learn to conceal our fears, even when they are legitimate. We learn to fear, not only what is before us, but what may come to pass, so that fear becomes a kind of evil twin of hope. That kind of fear, though, is a lie, since very little of what might come to pass actually will, and to fear it all is too diffuse and disabling to endure. "Present fears are less than horrible imaginings."