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12/04/2003: "Betrayal"

I was counting on you to be ther when I turned to you: Maybe I did neglect you, treat you badly, and ask a lot of you. Maybe I should have coddled you, given you a little TLC from time to time, celebrated your devotion and reliability. But the best ones, you never realized how much you relied on them until they're gone. The others I have never fully trusted. The water-heater gurgled its life away last winter, and I knew in an instant what was happening. The toilet barely does its job, rebellious, surly, shirking servant that it is. The furnace conspires. The mirror still shows me what I want to see, but one day will present me with the face of an aging stranger. But you...my number-one camera, to have a mental and physical breakdown when I'd just made a bunch of Christmas pictures...you break my heart, you shatter my day, you ruin my plans. You are a disappointment to me.